Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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