shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I am available for nakedness
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
