Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
