Tell her she can't have a vagina
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
