Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
