Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
