he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
