i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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