so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
