You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My bed smells like the plague
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
