i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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