saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
