I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
