you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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