Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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