moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
