why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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