I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
