i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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