So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
