Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize