If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
