i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
