it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
