She's JV to your varsity
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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