A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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