As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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