Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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