I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
