I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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