i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
