Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
bring money and cleavage
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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