I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
