I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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