I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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