Do you still have your period?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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