Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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