we have officially lost it.
how can u be prego again
He is an equal opportunity slut.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Randomize
