I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
