You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
