Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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