I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
