You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
