Can i not drive my cunt home
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
