didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
