I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
