no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
