I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Randomize
