She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize