Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
