Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
