I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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