those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
