glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
