At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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