i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
