Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he fucked my hip out of place.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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