Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
