Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
