I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize